Various Shit Holes - Wichita Falls

The Life Of The Party

He really twisted one off that night.

Sod!

8 pallets of pure fun...

Munich Breakfast

Veal sausage, special mustard and a wheat beer.

Augustiner Keller

I don't think you can buy Augustiner beer in the States and it's a real shame.

Bavarian Heaven

I'm Cooler Than You

Get over it.

Iguana Man

His girlfriend is not impressed.

My Kind of Girl

Wetzlar, Germany

Marburg, Germany

Always Sound Advice

Lahn River

Frozen.

Christmas Poop

Daddy, I left you a present near the tree. Merry Christmas!

Love,
Pearl

*Picture to follow*

George

8 Legs Of Fury

Palin, Texas Tech Fan

Snobbish

I Heart Pub

The Market Porter

The Wenlock Arms

The Exmouth Arms. I good place for a punch up.

The Dog and Duck

The fireplace at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese

The Jerusalem Tavern

All are located in London.

"Double Or Nothing?"

Patrick did indeed eat the hottest bowl of Pho known to all of man kind during the last challenge. He was the champ but he wouldn't allow himself to bask in the glory of victory for long. His comment on my blog entry said simply, "double or nothing."

That was a huge mistake. We negotiated what "double" should be and we decided it meant double the spice. The Great Pho Challenge, Part Deux was scheduled...

His first taste of the bowl of complete crap. He almost pukes on the third spoonful.


Another near miss. Danielle, are you proud to be married to such a man?



Defeat and a special note to my boy, Bruno, it's not over til it's over. I like how I am emphatically try to override Bruno telling Mears that "he did it".

Patrick and The Great Pho Challenge

Patrick, as you may know, is always ready to accept a challenge. When we eat Vietnamese Pho, a broth and egg noodle soup, he spices it up with various spices. He brags about how much he puts in. However, he usually is sweating, coughing, crying but all the while, he is bragging. This spawned the challenge. If he could eat the hottest bowl of pho ever then I would buy it.

The spices...

The untainted bowl

Tainted

Struggling

Crying

Water to cure the coughing

The "winner"

The best six clams I've ever spent.

The Pack

5534 is turning into a retirement home. The collective age of this lot is almost 38 years young.

Mr. Diamond

He told me he was calling his lawyers just after I snapped the picture without his permission.

Show Off

This little guy was showing up everyone at the hippy hula hoop park.

Complete Indifference

Just Plain Awesome

I'm jealous.

Aspen

Mesa Verde National Park

100% Refrigerated Air

The Grand Place, Brussels

"Brussels Meat"

There is not enough celery salt and mustard to make Brussels meat appetizing.

Sweet

Paris

Poison Ivy Is Cool

As a survivor of poison ivy, barely, I can tell you unequivocally that you don't want to be stricken with it...

Pearl

Weenie

Whale Tail

Alternate titles: "You've got to be kidding me" or "Doesn't that hurt?" or "Do you floss?" or "Oh look, black is your color"

Stonehenge

I have no words to describe Stonehenge so I will yield to Nigel from "This Is Spinal Tap."

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history.
There lived a strange race of people...the Druids.
No one knows who they were, or what they were doing...
but their legacy remains...
hewn into the living rock of Stonehenge...

Enough

After walking twenty miles in two days Ashley's legs gave out just short of the room. Poor thing.

The Wenlock Arms

The Wenlock was by far the dirtiest pub we visited in London. The carpet was probably forty years old and most of the people in there were stuck to their chairs like that lady in Kansas was stuck to her toliet seat.

Careful

Never fear, your beer will be filled to the brim in England.

Abbey Road In London

Bruges, Belgium

Is This Heaven?

Two of our favorite Belgian beers.

Old Man

His hair is becoming so grey.

Camera Jet Lag

Huh, What?

Melba At The Mannekin Pis

When I came around the corner to see the little man peeing I was shocked to see Melba. She had gathered quite a crowd.

Monster

Casa de Hale

Welcome to Casa de Hale. This will come as a suprise to you but we finally closed on a house. Since early October of last year, we've had an offer on a house. The first house was a foreclosure that had been on the market for over a year. We decided to make an offer on it and the same day so does everyone else in Dallas. Needless to say we were out bid and our hearts were heavy.

The second home, pictured above, was an ordeal as well. The home was in pre-foreclosure. Our first offer sat at the bank through the Thanksgiving holiday but all the feedback from the listing agent was "we're close", whatever that means. Well, it turns out that we weren't close and the offer was declined without a counter offer. Very little explanation was given for the reason why the offer was declined and no explanation was offered on why there was no counter offer. Our hearts were broken again and we decided not to even look at the market until we returned from our vacation in early March.

Although our intention was to wait until March to look at other houses, we kept stalking the Victor house. We drove by the house, made an anonymous call to the listing agent to inquire about the house and were told, "Yes, it's for sale. There was an offer on it, but it was declined." Ashley was H.O.T and I mean H.O.T. I mean to give us no explanation about why we were denied and then tell some supposedly random caller that, sure the house is for sale. So, we called our realtor and decided to make a second offer, this was early January. A month and a half later we're closing. We're still not really sure on why the bank didn't accept the first offer, especially without even making a counter offer, but it all worked out in the end.

So, because of the ups and downs we've had, we decided not to tell anyone about the second offer we made. We assumed it would be declined again and sure were happy when it wasn't. Hope you'll come and visit us sometime, but not too soon!

Mullet

Nascar Fan

Gene's

Beware of the corn dogs...

Holiday Dinner at Fogo de Chao

When you combine Patrick's ability to accept ridiculous challenges and a meat factory like Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian steakhouse with endless meat stuff, you get an excellent opportunity.

Patrick was goaded into this with a look and nod. The challenge was on...

The Aftermath

Diesel Chief

No Loitering

Why The Long Face, Pearl?

Make Sure You Watch It All...

The Great Mustache And Beard Idiocy Of '07

My friends at work decided it would be a good idea to grow our beards out for a month. At the end of the month we would spin a "mustache wheel". A mustache wheel of misfortune if you will. We were too lazy to make a wheel so we decided to roll the Mustache Dice! However, no one had any dice so we used a hat to draw our face art. Below is the results of our lucky draws.

The mustache and or beard must be worn for a week.

Shawn sporting the Friendly Mutton Chops

Patrick showing off his Mutton Chops

Me working the mustache and chin strip. Keep me away from your children...

Drunken Clowns

Joe Cool

World Record Holder

She holds the record for longest cig ever smoked with complete indifference. Stop in Bar-L to share a smoke with her.

Drunkard

Manicure Obsession

Billy Joe was released from the facility but he couldn't kick his OCD when it came to his manicure.

Half Order

You should see the size of the full order.

Our Lady Of The Way

Sign Post Forest, Watson Lake, Yukon

Lindsay Lohan

How far the young starlet has fallen. I feel so sorry for her. Ashley is her biggest fan, she's seen all of her movies multiple times.

Bar-L

This joint in Wichita Falls is a drive-up BBQ and Bar. I recommend you pull in and order a pitcher or two of red draws the next time you're in beautiful WF.

*The bartender was smoking the longest cigarette I have ever seen. I'll post a picture of her working that cancer stick soon.

ACME Boulder

Wile E. Coyote would be very proud of this ACME set-up.

Unsure Boasting

Mr. Cranky

I've hounded him for almost a year and he finally posed for a picture. It was worth the wait.

Paradox Valley

This valley in Western Colorado is unbelievable. It runs west almost to Utah and southeast toward Telluride.

Desert?

The answer is yes.

Rabbit Valley, Far West Colorado

300

Fear the power of the 300 and while you're at it, fear the miles per gallon.

America's Got Talent

Hasselhoff is ready to judge them.

Searching for Roger

Memorial

Princess Di Memorial in Hyde Park.

Strong Fine Ale

Hard Rocker

Paris Metro

Half Pint

He Defines Fashion

Fear his ensemble.

The Mechanical Bull

Someone talked me into to riding the mechanical bull at the Fort Worth Stockyards. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I quickly fell off the beast and the following exchange occured with the operator of the bull.

Operator: Oh, get back on it.

Me: OK.

Operator: This time turn you hand over.

Me: OK.

He fires it up and I ride it for around 10 seconds. I'm feeling good about my abilities...

Operator: Son, whenever a bull operator tells you to get back on the bull you never do...

As he finished his very funny sentence he cranked up the bull to what had to be full blast and I went flying. I landed on a not so padded area and it really freakin' hurt.

I hope you feel better about your life, Mr. Mechanical Bull Operator. Jerk.

The Temple

Pearl Finds Her Happy Place

Pearl has had trouble sleeping and seems really scared at night. Pearl's trouble sleeping has led to us not sleeping since she won't leave us alone. The vet seems to think that she may have hurt her back. I'm not sure if I buy that but I know she is sleeping through the night since she was prescribed tranquilizers.

Last night I saw her walking toward the closet and to my amazement she got in the laundry basket. She slept there all night.

James Douglas Morrison

At Pere LaChaise Cemetary in Paris.

No Dogs Allowed

It's My Cat In A Box

Tiny Lift

The tiny elevator began to effect our brains by day four...

Warning

Warning! This is the empire of the dead.

The catacombs in Paris contain the bones of over six million people. The cemeteries were overrun so it was decided that the Roman-era limestone quarry was as good a place as any to place the dead.

Skulls